By Simon Taylor

Did you see me – long ago
When you went into the Club Bar
The bottle of Archers Peach Schnapps
Standing lonely on one side
Two thirds empty, one third full
 
The Club purchased me in 1995
Along with Malibu and Babycham
I was fashionable then you see
But sadly fashions change
Both for you and for me
 
I was last imbibed in 2007
At the Clubs Annual General Meeting
The one that introduced semi-colons
Into the Articles of Association
It caused a stir – and I was in demand
 
But all has been quiet since then
A bottle of Archers – one third undrunk
Is unfulfilled and incomplete
Like a tennis game left at 5-5
Or squash at 8 points all
 
And now all is deathly quiet at the Club
The tennis courts not played on
The squash courts empty of shouts
And the croquet lawn denuded of mallets
And I am left all alone in the Bar
 
But I – the bottle of Archers – am not quite alone
Dez Lewington shares the space
He does his best – but its not quite like the old days
And – at least, or so it appears
Dez does not drink Archers Peach Schnapps.

With a reply by Vikki Courtney

Do not despair, for I’m a fan
Of peachy drinks, so I’ve a plan
This eau de vie, pls send to me
It matters not it’s half empty
It saw me through my misspent youth
Along with vodka and vermouth
So it will serve me well I’m sure
Through November – the month of bore
The Babycham? Well that can stay  
Never in fashion in ‘my day’