By Tim Allen

I miss Shelagh’s dulcet tones
I miss Trish’s cross-court, drop-shot return
I miss Julian’s top-spin backhand
and David’s INCESSANT banter
I miss Tom’s lovely smile
(Tom Lindsay, that is)
I miss quarrelling about the score
and even serving into the sun
I miss Margaret’s lack of pockets
and Marcus’ backhand drive
O God I even miss being numbered out
and having to wait for a while
I miss dust on my shoes
and I’d even drag the court for you now
if you asked me really nicely
I miss Duncan , at times, only God knows why!
I miss changing ends during tie-breaks
how soppy is that?
I miss those who NEVER miss ME
I miss Paul’s double faults
and his (occasional) ace
I miss Andrew and Antony
even though they always win
I miss Dez giving us his balls 
and I even miss serving underarm
I miss—–I miss—-I miss those I have missed out
and I often miss my backhand
there’s a double-entendre hiding somewhere there
IN fact I miss it all
TIMMY!!!